rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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