You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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