I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
