Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
