Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
