We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
