If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
if i died would you start the facebook group?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
