I swear she didn't look like that last week.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
