I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
