He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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