i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
