Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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