i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
