Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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