come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
