nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
