I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
