you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
