My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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