...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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