She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
