If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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