So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
