I will die if light touches me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
