Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
