I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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