so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
