Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
