better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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