I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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