okay pat passed out under dana's car
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
