idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
