You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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