i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
