He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
