Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
