They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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