What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
