yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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