brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
