Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We are two peas in an std pod
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
