I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
