He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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