totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
