Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
