Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
