ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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