i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
