Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We got so high we made milksteak
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
