Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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