Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize