Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
did i walk over a car last night?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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