the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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