I'm really into asian looking animals
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
