Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
