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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
