I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
