she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
